Just be the best
Almost every problem in every area of life is created by not being the best.
Almost every problem in every area of life is solved by being the best.
Consider the problem that is currently causing you the most pain in your life. If you snapped your fingers and magically became the best in that domain, would it go away? Probably. And if you don't think so, I'd be suspicious.
It's true that you do not have control over most things in life. But even for those things, there is probably a version of reality where, if you were significantly better than you currently are in some way, the problem and resulting pain would never have occurred in the first place.
That being said
Give yourself grace. I don't think you should blame yourself for every problem in your life. Giving yourself and others grace is not only good for the soul, but it also grants you the emotional bandwidth to move forward and become the better version of yourself that is able to avoid painful problems in the first place.
You can be the best, but not at everything
The number one way to improve your odds of becoming the best (and maintaining that status over time) is by picking the right game to play in the first place.
Pick games you are personally suited to win and avoid those you cannot.